Rebecca Homecca

I had to go to some training for work. It was terrible. I am not against learning, but I am against bad training. Here are the top five things that made this training ridiculous at best.

5. People taking too many of the free snacks. Don’t get me wrong, I love free snacks as much as the next person. As a matter of fact, I often joke about taking my big purse somewhere when there is going to be snacks. However, I joke about it,  I don’t actually take half a dozen cookies and a fist full of nutrigrain bars off the table. I was embarrassed on their behalf.

4. The hostile environment. I guess I always figured training was a fairly neutral environment. It started with the fact that it seemed like the trainer drew the short straw in having to come there. She was a bit surly. Combine that with the fact that the room is filled with people who are not really interested in doing things differently, and it felt more like a hostage negotiation. Had they run out of pretzels the whole place could have turned into a riot.

3. The trainer doesn’t know how to use the software. Well, that’s not fair, she knew how to use it, sort of. However, there was more than one occassion when she had to click on several things before she got the right one (which led to mass confusion from the not wanting to be here in the first place masses) and answered at least three questions with “ummm…I don’t know…I don’t really use this that often”. really?

2. The trainer is hard of hearing. You have to repeat your question a minimum of four times and literally scream it at her. And she is the one that is irritated because you are not talking loud enough (thereby adding to the already combative mood of the audience).

1. Many of  the people there being trained barely know how to use email and feel the need to ask obvious questions. This was the “advanced” portion of the training, so I guess they figure you have at least googled something at some point in your life. However, based on some of the questions, I’m not sure if these people even HAVE computers.

Bonus Reason: After explaining how to use a certain feature of the software for an hour and half, the presenter says “But I don’t know who would ever use this”.

sigh…

Abba

Pearl Jam

Longish, soft, flowing hair? Check.

Beard with Mustache? Check.

Big Collard shirt? Check.

Awesome Falsetto? Well played Abba. Well played.

We are back from visiting the fam in Ohio. It’s a long drive for such a quick trip!

We had a good time cracking up at letters and stories that Hubs and his brother made when they were kids.

Our favorite was written by Bro, in which is said that he knew Hubs like girls, but “they is flea bags”.

There was also mention of the old rhyme

“So so suck you toe, all the way to Mexico. While your there, comb your hair and don’t forget your underwear”

He wanted to know which was better, the Mexico thing or girls.

We also got to hear a story that hubs wrote about a panther attack, transformers and baseball (yes, all in one story).

We were cracking up! It was so funny. I also determined that any one of those things could have just as easily been written yesterday.

Today on the internet I learned that my couch cushions are toxic and likely to kill me. Also I learned on the internet that all the dust in my house is toxic and likely to kill me.

So, I’m not to sure what to do about that.

Oh Michigan, how you break my heart. Sunny weather all weekend and today. Everyone out and about, spring fever in full swing.

A check of the weather tells me spring is not around the corner like you led me to believe! Oh, no! More snow on the horizon…Can we hope when it hits the lake the storm will fall apart? Do we dare to dream it?

No, we should not. No doubt it will pick up more water as it crosses over, turn it into snow and dump it all over our roads.

Don’t put those hats and boots away just yet!

I know, I know, we’re not out of the woods until April at best. So why does this weather always come in February? To give us hope? To remind us that winter, in fact, doesn’t last forever?

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, well except Maisy, because she was “it”.
The stockings were hung by the TV with care,
in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
Marvin was nestled all snug in his bed
while visions of cat nip danced in his head.
And hubs with his Mac, and I with my laptop,
had just settled our brains for a long winter’s internet search,
When down in the basement there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
Away to the basement I flew like a flash,
ran down the stairs, and and looked all around.
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a fat grey kitty looking sheeping and
With a little black and brown girl, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be Miss Maisy.
More rapid than eagles, and faster than those reindeer,
She  hissed  and growled and called him by name
Now Marvin! You are it! Tag is on!
To the top of the porch!
To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all

So all week the Weather Liars have been predicting all kinds of doom and gloom for today.

When I got up this morning I turned on the TV to see if it showed up. According to them, it was total pandemonium on the roadways. It made me so anxious about driving in this horrible weather I was getting a stomach ache.

So I decided to wake Hubs up and see if he would drive me to work. It’s way early for him and kind of inconvenient (like not even remotely close). Being the nice boy that he is, he got up and drove me in.

And it’s a good thing he did because I don’t know how I would have survived on the slightly damp roads.

More than a little embarrassed that the roads weren’t bad at all, I tried to comfort myself by falling for more of the lies being spread.

The Weather Liars said that we would have “BLIZZARD LIKE CONDITIONS” starting at 1:00. So even if the roads weren’t bad on the way in, they would be on the way home making it totally worth it to have Hubs drive me in.

Well, 1:00 came and went and it did snow. A little. It didn’t stick on the roads or anything, but it was really windy…

I ended up getting a ride home with a co-worker in her minivan. The all wheel drive seemed like over kill at this point.

They are predicting more doom and gloom overnight, but I’m not sure if I should buy it. I would hate to get duped again…

So the turkey won’t fit in the deep fryer.

Glad we decided to make sure before, oh say, Saturday night when we tried to cook it. I really thought it would fit, that seems like a huge pot. But we put it in there and there was all this turkey sticking out of it.

I guess it wouldn’t cook so great that way.

Hubs will be picking up another, smaller bird and the giant one is going to a new home.

Which will be my mom’s deep freeze, until it becomes a nice turkey dinner in the future.

In an oven.

Over at Ben & Jerry’s you can create your own flavor. Mine is Marvin’s Gone Nuts made with Dark Chocolate ice cream mixed with hazelnuts and hazelnut cookies topped off with swirl of caramel.

April is National Humor Month, in case you were not aware.

So here’s a little joke for you!

What did the headless man say to his boss????

“Why can’t I get ahead?”